Epic.

Girl arrived 30 minutes late, insisted she pay for dinner to absolve the guilt. Guy, not one to be upstaged, paid for it anyway.

Girl persisted she compensate for drinks. Guy caved.

Conversation flowed until the first rays of morning.

“I’m not looking for a relationship,” Girl declared in a haze of booze and cigarette smoke. Girl was certain.

“Me too,” Guy answered warily.

First dates couldn’t have gone any better. Theirs was something out of a romcom — flirty banter with a side of cheese.

With eyes half awake, he saw through the public face of a life in chaos and heard the hum of a hungry heart.

His soul was of a drifter seeking reprieve from uncertainty, hers was worn from tragedy.

However, it didn’t take much for her to love him. It only needed a leap of faith she wasn’t keen on taking.

Yet.

Months passed and his moon tugged on the tides in her blood.

“I love you.” His stare all the treasures of Egypt.

He had the kindest eyes. Ones that sought hers and told her everything will be okay.

In that moment, she believed them.

“I love you, too.”

A dreadful weight was lifted as the proclamations hung in the air.

They breathed them in and the words permeated the lungs, the heart, the skin.

Such beautiful sin.

Gentlemen, send for the cavalry. The heroine has been slain.

One chapter has ended. Another one begins.

Shot glasses.

The tides swell with excitement

as the moon rises to its throne,

as the stars take a dip in the ebony sky.

Behind the brashness of the wind,

behind the poise of the waves,

is a dribble of melancholy life

that savored the same,

that whimpered the same.

“Where does the sun go when it sets?

We all know sunsets can only last for so long.”

These questions beat on,

like martyrs in search of the wounded.

Never stopping until they taste

the bittersweetness of the truth.

It is here,

at the bottom of this glass.

It is here

that you’ll find the raw,

the wounded,

the sublime.

Here is the place

where broken hearts go.

Here is where the sun

goes to die.

Gravity.

I know now where the moon goes when it sets

in your eyes.

So majestic its gravity

that the tides in my blood fail to resist.

So I crash into the rocks at your feet

and yield to the dark pressure of your kiss.

This love will be the death of me,

but I will let it.

For I am nothing

if not the aftermath you leave

in your wake.

Limbo.

Here we are,
always on the cusp of I love you
always bracing for the fall without really jumping in
The hollow of my hand
still ivory-full of you
as you say goodbye each night
without really wanting to.

Sunset boy.

My sunset boy in a sea of sorrows,

do you know I worship the gods that reside in the hollow of your neck?

We were both born on hallowed ground,

my bed is our witness.

Hold me as I moan songs of pagans.

Kiss me as I sway to the ballad of your lies.

Your skin radiates carnal bliss

and I inhale every bit greedily.

Let’s hum the unsung melodies of this permanent fate.

We are too big for our skin,

too morose for the dripping sunshine.

We wear our anguish like brand new shirts,

words come too close for my liking,

careless promises taste of honey and leaving.

Bedroom eyes and measured steps,

my knees made liquid.

Let repetitions be staged,

I implore you.

I adore you so horribly.

A fear & a wish.

The sirens came after my thundering heartbeats

screams of rescue pounding on the door

You with the syrup hair and bedroom eyes

Words, wine-sweet medley

I drink them all up

until the glass is half empty

I prayed to the fog

addressing a loan god

Summer insomnias amidst body heat

Scent like the heady aroma

that rises from the earth

after rain

Let’s make homes out of the echoing silence of this paved uncertainty

Ego, larger than life

yet cowering deep within

You are both a fear and a wish

the nightmare and the daydream

Loving intent hidden in confined spaces

of a black hole heart

I scurry away

Love is the specter that hides in the closet

the insidious shadow under the bed

How many times have I made a home

in the belly of this beast?

So I scurry away

You are both a fear and a wish

the nightingale’s song to the poison in these veins

So I sway

to the ballad of your singsong voice

I dance

to the twinkle in your eyes

There is no way out

there is only surrender

So why do I

refuse to answer the door

and hide?

Still you.

The moon shines bright as longing begins to afflict me again.

I turn on the light to take down the dream of you and me.

Can I resurrect the parts of me that died when you left?

My darling, how can I turn back time?

I loved you at my prime.

It seems that my heart has peaked.

My soul is still yours.

It’s still your warmth I seek.

My freckled lover, how do we start over?

Life has been unkind to the love still brewing inside.

How do I unlove you?

How does miles of skin unlearn your touch?

Today, there is no more you and I.

Tomorrow, I will keep living a lie.

Transient faith.

My faith is fleeting.
She’s a poetic line you thought about
amidst the drowning comforts of sleep
that you couldn’t remember anymore;
if only you had written it down.
Now, it seems like I couldn’t let my guard down
because if I did, even slumber would betray me,
take something away from me.
My strength is one big sham.
I am impregnable and bright on the outside.
I am fragile and dull underneath.
That’s one truth I don’t like to admit.
Because my faith is one fickle muse —
beautiful,
relatable,
makes you feel extra special and then…
gone.
Don’t take your eyes off her.
Don’t even blink.
She’s here and then…
gone.
Want a glimpse of of her?
Look to my rituals —
they’re my muffled prayers;
they’re the silent songs I sing to her.
My faith asks the important questions:
Why would you stain the alabaster
when it held perfectly to the light?
Why would you scar your wrists
when the stencils of your veins on them are the kind of art
Van Gogh would cut off his other ear for?
Why would you let go of this life
and miss out on all your possibilities?
Why would you deprive yourself the ability to dream?
You can be whoever you want to be in dreams.
And just like that,
it all feels like I am breathing through
a clogged nostril for the first time.
She does that…
every time.
I want her to stay longer,
to hold me forever.
But she leaves before twilight.
So I scour the night for her again…
every time.

Just friends.

We could be lovers,
but we’re not.
We lull sweet adulation to sleep.
There may never be a future here,
or is there?
For now,
let’s not give in to the deep.
I am neither yours,
nor are you mine.
Yet our souls make love to each other like martyrs,
like vagabonds in reverie.
I’ve studied your freckles like the constellations a thousand times,
how they dance in my mind.
Fall victim to my yearning heart.
Seep into the textures of me.

Rapture.

When the soul has known darkness like art, silence swells up until it fills the lungs. All you will hear is the euphony of your teardrops and the crashing of your heart. Our folly is love, its fodder is touch. We are starving with mouths filled to the corners of our lips, yet the words will never reach the surface. Speak now, hold me now, I beg, lest we give in to the rapture of the deep.