Victor.

Today, noontime delight came in the form of crisp October air that made its way into the hollows of my chest. The blue sky yielded to gray clouds burdened with rain. I am grateful for the reprieve from the daunting dampness of a world in turmoil.

Today, my soul is less welcoming than usual, evading familiar eyes with a fervor. I am grateful for the chance to sit in my silence a little while longer.

Today, my heart is especially heavy – coasting in a spiral of never-ending autumn gloom. I am grateful for the brokenness that welcomes nurturing slivers of light.

Today, tawdry Christmas songs invade my calm, while unsuspecting pedestrians stain my once evergreen periphery. Still, I am grateful for the little trespasses that remind me I am not alone.

Today, I made my way back to my cubicle unfulfilled. The world can be a cacophony of screams and my emotions can be too loud for my body. I am grateful for the solitude.

Today, I have lost some weight by some effort to stave off my usual poisons; by some futile attempts to run away from my usual spectres. Regardless, I am grateful for my verve.

Today, I am made weary from fighting – but I still made room for the quiet shifts of my joy. I am grateful for my bouts of hope.

Today is another impossible battle won.

Daydreamer.

I am a resident of my mind,
well acquainted with all its valleys and planes,
mountain peaks and caves.
It’s cozy in here,
cluttered with my every magnificent thought.
In all its vastness,
I reign supreme.
In my head,
I am who I wish to be.
In my thoughts,
I bask in solitude.
I am a resident of my mind
most of the time.

Solitude.

Learn to love solitude, to be more alone with yourselves. The tragedy of today’s young people is that they try to unite on the basis of carrying out noisy and aggressive actions so as not to feel lonely, and this is a sad thing. The individual must learn from childhood to be on his own, for this doesn’t mean to be lonely: it means to not get bored with oneself, because a person who finds himself bored when he is alone, it seems to me, is a person in danger.

—Andrei Tarkovsky