Three years ago, a window opened and your light crept in — slowly, then all at once. This letter took a similar unhurried pace: needing twenty-six days to arrive at the words. So much has been said, felt, overcome.
Our redemption resides in how little has been lost. No single otherworldly good has been taken away from Eden’s garden, only bittersweet lessons added to grow into honeyed fruits ripe for our picking.
Today, hatchlings chirped at the trails of white across the blue sky. Magnificent metal birds thought to be their kin left them there as sights to behold; as abstractions to ponder on from afar.
Love was once like that for me: curious velvety streaks stark against vast cerulean canvas, only meant to be adored or gawked at from a distance. I, the hatchling, still sticky from naiveté and afterbirth.
Love — always just out of reach; always far beyond what my sometimes-juvenile mind can grasp. Three years past.
Inside this mortal vessel, the heart played second fiddle to the brain. I dared not delude myself into believing the heart is capable of anything except giving into losing fancies. In absolute truth, I dared not deceive myself too boldly lest I be disappointed. I was none the wiser.
Love doesn’t hurt. I’ve heard this spoken often then. Three years with you, I believe this to be true now.
When storms rage, you are the lighthouse that guides me safely to shore. When freezing, you are the balmy calm that sways me away from sinister sleep. When restless, you fill the growing void with peace.
Thank you for your light. Thank you for your warmth. Thank you for your solace. My weary bones are made sturdy, my soul knows no hunger, my heart is rid of fear because of all that you are.
When the next tempest hits, I will anchor myself with the kindness and wisdom that drip from your tongue. When the chasm proves too great to overcome, it will be your hand that pulls me out of the depths. When doubt casts its shadows, it will be these three years I will fondly look back on to shake me out of the haze.
I’ve loved you then. I love you now. I’ll love you always.